Crash and Burn
by re-Jecht-ed
Summary: [Aurikku] When she lost nearly everything she had, she needed someone to turn to... but would he allow himself to help spare her pain?


**CRASH AND BURN:**

Kwee! Heh, I sure didn't expect to be writing stuff while I'm in the middle of something else, but, eh, it came, so I took it. It takes place on the airship after they escape from the Guado attacks on Home. No, this is **not** a songfic.

I shall dedicate this in part to lovely little road trips across Michigan-Indiana-Illinois-something nowhere: for taking about 6 hours more than it should and leaving me with nothing else to do but write fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; they're squaresoft's. And the song/lyrics/etc are from Savage Garden: my 7th grade music love!

_When you feel all alone_

_And a loyal friend is hard to find_

_You're caught in a one way street_

_With the monsters in your head_

_W__hen hopes and dreams are far away and_

_You feel like you can't face the day…_

_Let me be the one you call,_

_If you jump, I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

_If you need to fall apart_

_I can mend a broken heart _

_If you need to crash;_

_Then crash and burn,_

_You're not alone._

**:savage garden: crash and burn:**

* * *

It was late, but Rikku was still up, lying on the top bunk, staring blankly at the ceiling. She had been tossing and turning ever since they had decided to turn in for the night, trying to fight off the real-life nightmares that continued to play out in her racing mind. Without trying, she continuously reflected on the events of the day;

Fighting off her own family to keep Yuna on a pilgrimage that she still didn't agree with/ being insulted by the hardcore, hardheaded Yevonite who basically shunned her based solely on race/ assassinating a Maester of Yevon/ being chased out of Macalania/ being attacked by Sin/ getting separated from the group and thrown into the blistering hot desert. And the story only got worse. The Guado kidnapped Yuna and destroyed the Al Bhed's Home. Rikku's friends and family, who had strived to deter the Guado attacks, were massacred. The few who had managed to escape with their lives intact were now aboard the airship, asleep.

The horrific scenes replayed like a broken record in her head.

_'Tysh ed.'_ Rikku rolled onto her side, facing the wall and once again attempted to sleep. The humming of the airship's engines coupled with Tidus's light snoring in the bunk below was just enough to keep the young Al Bhed awake. Putting her pillow over her ears, she tried to block out the noise, but in the silence she heard the sounds from the day; guns, missiles, screaming… Her mind drifted again… Home; on fire, Guado soldiers; gunning down her people, Keyakku; dieing in her arms, the missiles; blowing up their Home, memories, and dreams…

She felt tears stinging her eyes, threatening to show her weakness. _'Clnaf drec.__ E lyh hud cmaab! I'm going for a walk.'_ She resolved, slamming her pillow on the bunk and climbing down. What she really wanted to do was to talk to someone. Tidus and Kimahri, who were occupying the beds on the left side of the room, were already sound asleep. _'I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate being woken up for some stupid girl's need to talk. I need to find someone who's still up.' _She decided and silently slipped out of the room.

_'I'm sure Lulu would be wiling to hear me… I hope she's awake.' _Rikku quietly slunk into another room with a set of bunk beds. Wakka was on the top one, snoring obtrusively, while Lulu was fast asleep, breathing lightly below. Sighing in defeat, Rikku left them in peace and went in search of her brother instead.

She tiptoed down the hall, past rooms holding the Al Bhed Psyches, the two other summoners, Rin, and her father's sleeping chamber; finding everyone had already passed out.

_'Ugh! Damn it! Am I the only one on this fucking ship who is still up?'_ She wondered furiously as she slid open the door to her brother's room, finding Buddy snoozing in one bed, and her brother sprawled out on the other.

"Brother…" she hissed. He rolled onto his side, facing away from her. She jabbed him forcefully, but received no response. Resisting the urge to scream at the top of her lungs, she ever-so-quietly stomped out of their room and slammed the door.

Rikku leaned her back against the far wall and slowly slid down to the floor so she was sitting knees up, resting against the wall. Closing her eyes, she lightly hit the back of her head against it as the painful thoughts fought their way back into her mind.

When her mom was still alive, Rikku used to talk problems over with her, and it always made her feel better. But now Rikku had no one to share conversations with, no one to ease her pain. Hot tears made their way past her eyes, causing her to blink rapidly as they slid down her cheeks. Crying only made her feel worse, though… more vulnerable, weaker. As she wiped them away she noticed a light coming from the end of the hallway. She stood, now curious and hopeful; the mere thought of someone else possibly being awake took away the lonely feeling occupying Rikku's heavy heart. Swiftly, she glided down the hall to the last door.

She quietly peaked in to find Auron, sitting on the edge of his bed, cleaning his bloodstained katana. She noticed he had taken off his cowl, boots, and characteristic flask and beads… but he still wore his trench coat and dark shades. _'How bizarre…'_

Without looking up, Auron detected Rikku's presence. "Yes? You're still up, Rikku?"

Immediately, she felt unwelcome and wanted to give the man his privacy. He already intimidated her, and the fact that he was fondling that weapon didn't ease the tension any. Her first instinct was to back out of the room and go back to bed; it was remarkable the power Auron's voice inflection had over the usually undaunted girl.

"I…I'm sorry… I couldn't sleep, and I was just… uhh... I was looking for someone to talk to…" She confessed shyly. As soon as the words came out, she wished she hadn't said them, that she had stayed in her own room, and never bothered the older guardian. She felt foolish and immature now. Of all the people on the airship she could have run into, it just happened to the person who probably cared the least, talking to Wakka might be easier than trying to start a conversation with the rouge ronin. It wasn't that she held any resentment towards him, or vise versa, but he just didn't seem like the type to exactly… enjoy listening to her blather. But she bit her lip and stood her ground… in the doorway.

"And I suppose you expect me to lend you my full attention?"

Rikku's heart skipped; did he actually care! She gave him her very best please-I'm-begging-you-super-hopeful faces and took a half step into his room.

"Forget it." He said, setting his blade aside.

She felt her heart sink all the way down to her toes and was re-filled with the cold, desolate feelings of before. "S-sorry…" She whispered, turning around in the doorway and taking a step back to her lonely room. She paused momentarily before closing her eyes, crossing her fingers, and doing a 180, rushing back into his room.

"Auron, please! Just let me stay for a little while." She begged, falling to her knees in front of where Auron sat. "You're the only other person on the airship who's still up… and I'm… I'm lonely… I'm afraid." She bowed her head.

"Rikku…"Auron began, but stopped, knowing that trying to tell her 'no' was like trying to get Tidus to stop talking. Sighing deeply, he looked down at the girl literally crashed, and figuratively burning, before his feet. Even though he would never admit to it, he felt a wave of pity pass through him and wanted to do something to ease the suffering of the young Al Bhed. He had given into her before; at the Moonflow and the Thunder Plains, and it looked as if he would have to succumb once again.

Setting his Katana aside, he gently put his hands under Rikku's arms, and lifted her onto the bedside next to him. "Perhaps I was wrong in allowing you to become a guardian; you are still too young." He spoke as he moved her.

_'Why _did_ I permit her guardianship?'_ He wondered, all of a sudden.

>>FLASHBACK

_"Look at me."_

_"Umm… okay." The young girl faced him, eyes shut tightly, concealing the proof of her Al Bhed heritage._

_"Open your eyes." He said, trying not to show amusement at the girl's antics._

_A shimmering emerald eye met his dark brown one. They shone with determination, dedication, and devotion. The swirls and spirals in them burned with a passion and desire to become Yuna's guardian. _that was it… those damn eyes… the same eyes that revealed Rikku's identity as an Al Bhed must have possessed some sort of hypnotic power over Auron which made him overlook age or race…_ He allowed her to become a guardian._

>>END FLASHBACK

"I'm not just a kid, you know." Auron detected a hint of annoyance in her voice, causing him to smile a bit. Rikku paused a minute before speaking again.

"Auron, I'm worried about Yunie." She played with her hands in her lap without making eye contact.

"We all are, but she is strong. I'm sure that wherever she is, she is fine."

"But then… even if we find her, Yunie will want to continue her pilgrimage, huh?"

"She became a summoner by choice, fully aware of the consequences. It was her decision; she wanted to bring happiness to Spira's people."

"I know it was her choice and all… but then… can't I choose to stop her?" She grinned playfully.

Auron was amused by the girl's ambition, efforts, and slightly skewed logic. "That's not the way it works."

Rikku sighed dejectedly and brought her knees up to her chest, kicking off her slippers and resting her feet on the bed. "Yunie's my cousin… I don't want her to die… I've lost so much already today… my home, my friends, family, Keyakku… Auron it's just not fair!" She cried, grabbing his coat lapels and burying her face in his chest.

Auron was a bit stunned and taken aback by her actions, no one, especially not a young girl, had _ever_ turned to him for a source of comfort, much less latched on to him like this.

Rikku silently sobbed into Auron's front, her body rising and falling with every labored breath. He didn't like seeing this depressed side of her.

"You're right, Rikku, it's not fair; for you, for any of us. The summoner's journey has never been easy, it is full of difficulties and sacrifices."

Rikku sniffled a bit, causing Auron to grimace at the thought of his coat getting dirty.

He placed his left hand comfortingly on her back. "It is never easy to lose the ones who are close to you, believe me, I know… But the important thing is that you keep your head up and don't let the failures of the past interfere with your duties as a guardian."

"I won't." She assured softly, snaking her arms around his side. "It just hurts so much… I'm sorry I'm acting like a wimp… but I feel like if I don't talk about it, if I keep it inside, I'll explode!" Auron felt Rikku's muscles stiffen against his own as she held him tighter and attempted to stifle her emotions.

Boldly, he drew her closer to him with his arms and swung his legs up onto the bed, lying back in one smooth motion. Rikku now laid on top of him, still clutching his coat, her own legs resting between his. She was calmed by his left hand resting comfortably on her back and the steady drumming of his heartbeat. She could feel his voice resonating deep inside his chest as he spoke;

"It's alright for you to feel angry or upset, you have every right to, but don't let yourself dwell on it."

"That's right- 'dwelling in the past is futile.'" She said, imitating him.

He chuckled lightly. In the tranquil silence that followed, Rikku idly ran her fingers across Auron's coat, smoothing out wrinkles and tracing patterns in the crimson cloth, while Auron mused over the situation.

Lying on top of him, she was a comfortable weight; not unnoticeable, but not too heavy so as to restrict breathing… she almost felt… _nice._ And the fact that she quote-unquote 'needed' him… well, that proposed an entirely different dilemma:

On one hand, he had never wanted to let anyone get too close or attached to him… it was why he had never really talked much to Tidus in Zanarkand, why he always maintained his icy-cold demeanor, and why he shut himself off from the rest of the group, preferring to be isolated… it would be easier for him to leave Spira that way, once his promises were fulfilled.

But, on the flipside, maybe some human contact and interaction was exactly what Auron needed and deserved. He couldn't deny the way Rikku's mere presence and closeness was making him feel right now… he was actually enjoying the company… but still… he couldn't allow himself the distraction…

"Rikku, you should go back to your room now." He advised, reluctantly. His feelings were stirred again when he felt her clasp onto his coat again, almost possessively.

"Auron, can't I just stay here, please… just this once?" She lifted her head and propped herself up on his torso with her elbows.

"I don't think that-"

She gripped his coat firmly with her left hand. "Oooh, pleeeease, pretty please, I don't want to have to go back to being all alone again." She begged, her lower lip quavering and her green eyes glossing over, making her look like she was about to cry again.

_'It's those damn eyes again, I swear…'_ Suppressing his own wishes to remain isolated, he sighed deeply and removed his glasses, tossing them gently to land on the small nightstand by the bed. "Fine, have it your way." He muttered gruffly, running his hand over the marred side of his face. Secretly, he was flattered by her want to stay with him.

Rikku was grateful for this benevolent, sympathetic side of him. "Thanks." She whispered, smiling appreciatively. Without thinking, she brought her right hand to his face and lightly traced her fingernail across his cheek, sending chills down his spine.

He flinched instinctively. "Rikku…" He breathed, unsure of… this…

She scooted up, her nose just centimeters from his, and nestled her small face alongside his surprised one, bringing her left hand to rest by his right ear.

He could feel her warm, even breaths breezing across his jaw, his lips. His own breathing had become short and shallow, wondering how he had gotten himself into this awkward position… He didn't mind it, as long as Rikku didn't, and from the looks of it, she was perfectly content… so…

No! No! This wasn't supposed to happen, he had never meant to let someone penetrate his stone barrier, he was supposed to be the stoic, unwavering, I'm-not-going-to-tell-you-anything-ha-ha 'legendary' guardian… not some teddy bear for a lonesome child… How had one innocent young girl managed to break through all of that, changing his values and thoughts so drastically?

_'No, I can't let this… I shouldn't think… I won't get…'_ The sensation of Rikku's soft skin on his prevented him from forming complete, coherent thoughts… it drove him crazy. He supposed he would let her stay; he couldn't just kick her out now… even if that was the sensible thing to do.

Ignoring the logical part of his brain, he rolled onto his right side, shifting little Rikku as well. Her hand fell limply against the mattress. _'She must be asleep.' _He pulled the sheets over their now-intertwined legs and the lower half of their waists. With his left arm, he hugged her closely, securely.

"Good night, Rikku. My condolences form your losses today, I can only hope for the tribulations to fade into the darkness and tomorrow we will begin anew, remember that you are not alone." He spoke to her slumbering form. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "May your story be a good one. Sleep well, Rikku."

As Auron closed his eyes to join her in sleep, he felt the presence of two small lips gracing his bristly jaw line. …she was still awake!

Rikku smiled, sensing his shock. She nuzzled up closer, if possible, to him and mumbled sleepily, "You too, Auron."

* * *

...:Owari:...

Yay for fluff, yay for Aurikku, yay for Savage Garden, yay for **reviews**, yay for hotel computers, and yay for us taking 10 hours to do a 4-hour drive from Detroit to Chicago!


End file.
